Trying to be happy often makes people less happy. This conundrum is called the happiness paradox, and it has been studied for more than a decade.
Unlike many goals, which produce better results the more people pursue them, research has shown the opposite to be true with happiness. "Valuing happiness can be self-defeating because the more people value happiness, the more likely they will feel disappointment," a 2021 study noted.
MORE: Traumatic brain injuries may one day be treated with a nasal spray
A new study, published in Applied Psychology, confirmed this finding and went deeper. It found that pursuing happiness is mentally exhausting, making people vulnerable to lapses of self-control. This spirals into people succumbing to temptation and self-destructive decisions that make them unhappy.
"The story here is that the pursuit of happiness costs mental resources," the study's lead author, Sam Maglio, of the University of Toronto Scarborough, said in university publication. "Instead of just going with the flow, you are trying to make yourself feel differently."
Maglio and his team surveyed hundreds of people and learned that those who continuously pursued happiness also reported less self-control. Then they had people engage in a series of mundane tasks that required mental energy and self-regulation. The people who habitually sought happiness quit the tasks sooner than those who were less inclined to pursue happiness. The researchers concluded that pursuing happiness and regulating behavior compete for the same limited amount of mental energy.
Maglio's advice: "Just chill. Don't try to be super happy all the time. Instead of trying to get more stuff you want, look at what you already have and just accept it as something that gives you happiness."