If you’ve ever heard of the term “sober curious,” you may be wondering how
it’s different from month-long sobriety challenges like Dry January or Sober
October or even being completely sober. But living a sober curious lifestyle
is different, and here’s why.
What It Means to Be “Sober Curious”
The term “sober curious” simply means you are asking questions about the
role of alcohol in your life. For personal or wellness reasons, you are
examining the “why” behind your drinking, the way alcohol affects you, and
how you might feel if you cut back on the amount of alcohol you drink or
stopped drinking for a while.
Sober curious should not be confused with the term sober. Someone who is
sober does not use alcohol at all because they have
alcohol use disorder, which is a diagnosable medical condition. Someone who is sober curious
may not meet the medical criteria for alcohol use disorder, or they may not intend to give up alcohol permanently.
There are various reasons why someone who is sober curious may choose to
avoid alcohol or only give it up for a certain period. Maybe you don’t like
how alcohol makes you feel after you’ve had a drink or two. Maybe you enjoy
one glass of wine a night but feel it has become too much a part of your
routine.
Living a
sober-curious lifestyle
may have started among a small segment of the population, but it has grown
into a mainstream movement with more and more people exploring a life
without — or with less — alcohol.
Physical and Mental Health Benefits of Abstaining From Alcohol
Studies show that
drinking alcohol has several negative health effects
— from high blood pressure to increased cancer risk. In fact, U.S. Surgeon
General Vivek Murthy is recommending alcoholic products include
warning labels that inform consumers about the link between alcohol
intake and cancer. So, taking occasional breaks from alcohol, reducing your overall intake of
it, or eliminating it altogether can have many
positive health effects, including:
• Improved sleep
• Weight loss
• Increased energy
• Reduced anxiety
• Clearer skin
• Better insulin resistance
• Lower blood pressure and risk for alcohol-related diseases
• Improved mood, memory, and focus
• Reduced cancer risk
Adopting a Sober Curious Lifestyle
If you make the decision to drink less or take a break from alcohol, how do
you get started? First, be honest with yourself about your alcohol habits.
Knowing how much you drink, in what environments you drink, and who you
usually drink with can help you create new habits and routines that don’t
center around alcohol.
• Create a plan. If you want to
cut back on your drinking, decide how many days a week you want to drink and what your drink limit
is. For example, you may only decide to drink on Saturday nights and limit
yourself to one drink. If you want to abstain from alcohol for a month or
longer, that means you’ll have to replace some of your habits around
drinking. Planning what that looks like ahead of time can help you stick to
your decision.• Find your community. This means connecting with other sober
or sober curious people. Once you make the choice to go alcohol-free,
connecting with like-minded people can help you feel less alone. And if you
discover that it’s hard to find sober curious people in your current social
circle, there are many online options including sober/sober curious social
media groups,
peer support groups, and
sober/sober curious dating sites. Surround yourself with people who support your choice to drink less/stop
drinking.• Control your environment. This means avoiding certain
people, places, or activities that pressure or tempt you to drink more than
you plan. Reduce the amount of time you spend with those people, in those
places, or doing those activities. For example, instead of a happy hour with
coworkers, suggest going out for lunch instead. If you always meet your
college buddies at a bar, suggest a hike, pick-up basketball game, yoga, or
pickleball. It may also be helpful to remove alcohol from your home.• Find new hobbies or activities. When you’re taking a break
from alcohol, it can be helpful to find a new hobby or activity to fill the
time you used to spend drinking. This might be trying a new sport, joining a
book club, learning a new craft or language, or trying a new exercise class.
Activities that provide meaning, enjoyment, or a sense of mastery can help
boost your mood and help you avoid the urge to drink.• Practice mindful drinking. If you’re trying to drink less,
or you took a break from alcohol and are slowly incorporating it back into
your life, try to practice moderation. While you may still enjoy a drink
here or there, you should focus on quality over quantity. You can drink a
cocktail and follow it with a non-alcoholic option like a fizzy club soda or
a fancy mocktail, or non-alcoholic beer or wine.
Most importantly, pay attention to your body, and be aware of the effects of
alcohol on your mind and body. If you do decide to start drinking again,
hopefully your break from drinking will help you have a healthier
relationship with alcohol going forward — which is one of the goals of the
sober curious movement.
A Note About Celebrating Without Alcohol
You may have successfully reduced or eliminated alcohol from your daily life
for a month or so, but then a holiday or celebration arises, throwing a
wrench in your new routine. Holidays and other celebrations can be difficult
for sober/sober curious people since holidays have long been associated with
alcohol and drinking culture. Luckily, if you prepare ahead of time, you’ll
be better equipped to handle any hiccups that come your way.
• Find out party details ahead of time and plan accordingly. If there are
areas of the party or people who might trigger your desire to drink, plan to
steer clear.• Know that other people will be drinking.
• Bring your own non-alcoholic drink.
• Have a trusted friend you can talk to either at the party or via text or
phone call.• Have a flexible arrival and departure schedule.
Support for Loved Ones Abstaining From Alcohol
Perhaps you still drink but you have a friend or family member who has
decided to take a break from drinking or quit drinking altogether. There are
ways to be a good friend and support them in their decision.
Although there has long been a stigma associated with those who abstain from
alcohol, luckily that is changing somewhat as it becomes more common for
people to reduce or eliminate alcohol from their lives. You can help reduce
the stigma by supporting friends and family members who may choose not to
drink. The truth is, there are many reasons why people abstain from alcohol
and unless someone wants to share their reasons, it truly is none of your
business. Here are some ways you can help change the culture around alcohol
consumption.
• Don’t pressure people to drink. If someone orders a
non-alcoholic beverage, don’t ask them why they aren’t drinking or pressure
them to get “just one drink.”• Offer a variety of non-alcoholic beverages. If you are
hosting a gathering, make sure you offer fun non-alcoholic drink options.
This doesn’t just mean juice or soda or sparkling water. Luckily, fancy
mocktails are having a moment. Research a
fun mocktail recipe
and offer that as an alternative alongside cocktails.• Do your research ahead of time. If you’re going out to a
restaurant with someone who doesn’t drink, check out the menu online and see
if they offer creative non-alcoholic drinks. Many restaurants now offer
mocktails that are just as fancy and delicious as their alcoholic
counterparts. And now there are even
sober social clubs/bars
popping up across the country for those who are sober or sober curious.• Explore new meet-up locations. Oftentimes, the go-to for a
meet-up with a friend is a bar or restaurant. Switch things up and meet up
for coffee, or even better, go for a walk together.
Resources for IBX Members
IBX has many
in-person and virtual resources
available for members who want to reduce the amount of alcohol they drink or
think they have a problem with alcohol and need help.
This content was originally published on
IBX Insights.