NFC Hierarchy/Obituary: Week 12 edition

Week 11 of the NFL season is in the books, and we have two new obituaries, the Dallas Cowboys and Chicago Bears.

Obituary: Cowboys

One of the best sports days of the year is when the Cowboys find a new and interesting way to lose in the playoffs. Football fans will be robbed of that this season with the Cowboys dead and buried before Thanksgiving.

It was an awful 2024 calendar year from the start for Cowboys fans, as Jerry Jones promised in January that the team was "all in," only to watch as his team lost key contributors in bulk while adding virtually nothing to the roster.

Many of the Cowboys' on-field deficiencies were easy to predict, like the rushing offense, their rushing defense, their crappy depth, and contract squabbles with the best players, as we outlined in depth back in June. But they also suffered a slew of injuries, like playmaker extraordinaire CB DaRon Bland, superstar edge rusher Micah Parsons, steady DeMarcus Lawrence, and, of course, Dak Prescott, the highest paid player in the NFL.

What is left is a craptastic skeleton crew that is being led by a bottom-tier backup quarterback in Cooper Rush. The Cowboys are going to be tough to watch the rest of the way, though I must admit I'm rather looking forward to some good LOL's on Thanksgiving when Rush faces off against Tommy DeVito and the Giants.

After losing to the Texans on Monday Night Football, the Cowboys are now 0-5 at home this season, and the only team in the four major sports who do not yet have a home win in 2024:

This is amazing. And yes, the NYG beat PHi at MetLife last January, so this chart is accurate. pic.twitter.com/5gXeqmgx9e

— Craig Miller (@junior_miller) November 16, 2024

And speaking of home field advantage, it's just added comedy that one of the Cowboys' controversies this season is Jones' refusal to used curtains to block out the sun, and a big metal piece that fell from the rafters before their loss Monday night.

Here is the piece of large metal that fell from the @ATTStadium retractable roof as it opened @NBCDFW pic.twitter.com/ZYE4G4Dxa6

— Noah Bullard (@noah_bullard) November 18, 2024

In a way, it's kind of a bummer when the Cowboys are this bad. When you know they're going to lose before the coin is flipped, it's not as fun. I'm sad. 😞

Obituary: Bears

The following video shows how the Bears have cycled though head coaches, quarterbacks, and general managers over the last decade-plus, and how none of them were ever really on the same page. Many of you don't care at all about the Bears, but I do think they serve as a case study in the consistently disorganized assembly of the three most important figures (owner excluded) in the organization.

Want to know what the last 14 years of pain for Bears fans have been like?
Allow @kfishbain to explain to @DMRussini and @ChaseDaniel on Scoop City ⤵️https://t.co/9jC1s1fW8g pic.twitter.com/ycc8qbZgeU

— The Athletic (@TheAthletic) November 13, 2024

The 2024 season began with such promise. This Bears team had a shiny new quarterback in No. 1 overall pick Caleb Williams, better skill position players than they've had a long time, a much improved offensive line, and a decent defense. And for a while they looked like they were beginning to turn a corner, getting out to a 4-2 start.

And then this happened:

That gaffe started a four-game losing streak, and now the Bears have the hardest remaining schedule in the NFL. Heads will roll.

Graveyard

Hierarchy

11) Seahawks (5-5): I'm not a huge Geno Smith guy. Like, he's a competent starting quarterback, but I wouldn't want him to be my quarterback. I mean, he's 34 and has never won a playoff game.

But he has his moments. Here's his game-winning drive against the 49ers on Sunday (via @BillyM_91):

Last week: 11

10) Rams (5-5): Matthew Stafford cracked the top 10 all-time in career TD passes:

1. Tom Brady: 649
2. Drew Brees: 571
3. Payton Manning: 539
4. Brett Favre: 508
5. Aaron Rodgers: 492
6. Philip Rivers: 421
7. Dan Marino: 420
8. Ben Roethlisberger: 418
9. Matt Ryan: 381
10. Matthew Stafford: 370

Stafford passed Eli Manning (366).

Last week: 10

9) Buccaneers (4-6): The Bucs were my preseason pick to win the NFC South, and I'm sticking with them. Even with all their injuries, they're better than the Falcons and they're going to catch them.

Last week: 9

8) Falcons (6-5): The Falcons got absolutely pantsed in Denver, 38-6. If you can't get pressure on the opposing quarterback, you're not going to win a lot of games. Somehow, the Falcons have won 6 games despite having just 10 sacks this season. Grady Jarrett and Matthew Judon lead the team with 2.5 sacks each. There are 106 NFL players with at least 3 sacks this season.

Last week: 8

7) 49ers (5-5): Oh hey, the 49ers are in last place in the NFC West, if we're including tiebreakers:

What's most concerning about this Niners season is that they're losing to teams that have not been able to beat them in recent years, like the Seahawks and Cardinals.

• They swept the Cardinals each of the last two years, by a combined score of 156-68. This year, home loss to them Week 5.

• They swept the Seahawks each of the last three years, by a combined score of 184-96. This year, home loss to them Week 11.

The Niners had a 11-1 divisional record in 2022/2023, and as you can see above, they're 1-3 this season. The bullies are getting bullied. Oh, and their next two games are in Green Bay and Buffalo.

Last week: 6

6) Commanders (7-4): After allowing 228 rushing yards to the Eagles on Thursday night, the Commanders now have the 30th ranked run defense in the NFL:

The non-Commanders teams in the graph above have a combined record of 13-27, which, I mean, makes sense. If you can't stop the run, you're not going to win many games. The Commanders have been a fun team to watch, but their early success this season was probably a mirage. They'll make the playoffs because they still have a bunch of horrid opponents on their schedule, but they'll be one-and-done in the wildcard round.Last week: 3

5) Cardinals (6-4): NFC title percentages, via Inpredictable:

1. Cardinals: 52%
2. 49ers: 19%
3. Rams: 15%
4. Seahawks: 14%

Last week: 6

4) Packers (7-3): The Packers were staring down the barrel of a loss to the Bears, but…

The Bears have a recurring issue with game-losing blocked field goals, I guess.

Last week: 5

3) Vikings (8-2): Looks like Clete Blakeman and crew had another brutal day:

Three Titans defensive stops: 3rd down, 4th down, 3rd down. All 3 would have been the end of Vikings drives.
Instead, 3 plainly incorrect penalty calls extended the drives in significant ways.
All 3 drives turned into touchdowns. 20 of Minnesota's 23 points. https://t.co/VpmcCDd9c8 pic.twitter.com/699eyXjIhc

— Easton Freeze (@eastonfreeze) November 18, 2024

Last week: 4

2) Eagles (8-2): Eagles defensive upgrade power rankings (not including Sean Desai and Matt Patricia to Vic Fangio):

1. Nicholas Morrow to Zack Baun.
2. James Bradberry to Quinyon Mitchell.
3. Avonte Maddox and a bunch of other slot corners to Cooper DeJean.
4. Gassed Jalen Carter to in shape Jalen Carter.
5. Always hurt Nakobe Dean to healthy Nakobe Dean.

Last week: 2

1) Lions (9-1): Seven teams in NFL history have scored 40 or more points in six games:

1. 2018 Saints (Drew Brees)
2. 2013 Broncos (Peyton Manning)
3. 2011 Saints (Drew Brees)
4. 2011 Packers (Aaron Rodgers, before he became the weirdest guy in the league, or at least before we learned that)
5. 2000 Rams (Kurt Warner)
6. 1961 Rams (George Blanda)
7. 1950 Rams (Norm Van Brocklin)

All of those teams were led by quarterbacks who are already in the NFL Hall of Fame, or will be soon enough.

After their 50-burger against the Jaguars Week 11, the Lions now have four 40-burgers this season. They have a reasonable enough chance of breaking that record with the way they are playing right now.

Last week: 1

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